Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Letting Go

   

   People quite often ask me how I feel about moving to Omaha. They know me and know that in the past I haven’t been at all thrilled about moving anywhere. I don’t always know what to say. I feel like I should be scared or worried. But I’m not. To be honest. I’m at complete peace about it.  I’m an anxious person by nature and I normally freak out about, well, everything. So why am I facing such a huge change with such peace? The answer is God’s grace. God has been graciously and gently pushing me down this path. He’s brought me to a place where I am finally ready to let go of my comfort zone.

    Even though I have peace about moving, the what if’s still creep in. It is a constant battle not to let them ruin the peace God has given me. They threaten to tear my eyes off Jesus and put them back on myself and what is familiar. The familiar can be a trap. We are tricked into thinking that that is where our security is, and the threat of it being removed can cause us to feel insecure and out of control.

    The peace I have with our move didn’t happen over night, nor did it just fall into my lap. God had to first reveal to me that I was idolizing my comfort zone and clinging to it for dear life. I was placing my trust in what I could see and touch. By His great mercy, He opened my eyes to see that my priorities were all temporal. I was (am) clinging to things that are one day going to wear out or die. It was when I realized this, that God started to shift my attention to what matters most, what is eternal.  I began to see that maybe God had something better in mind for me than what I thought I couldn’t live without. This is when I began to have peace. He was calling me to trust Him that He knows what He’s doing with my life.

    I don’t have it all figured out nor can I say I’m rid of all my idols. But I have to trust that if I keep entrusting myself to the One who raises the dead, He can deliver me from my fears and set me free. That is what I want the most. To be free. Free from whatever keeps me from the abundant life He died for me to have. I want to be able to say with Paul that “To live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Phlippians 1:21) I want to let go of whatever is keeping me from treasuring Him above life.

    So how do I feel about moving to Omaha? I am excited to face my fears and see how God provides for our needs. I am excited to see what good things He has in store for us. I am ready to let go.

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